Worthiness
by Risa McDohl
Summary: After Team Masho's defeat Touya believes that they have lost everything, though Jin believes otherwise. JinxTouya. Oneshot.


**Title:** Worthiness

**Author:** Risa

**Pairing:** Jin/Touya

**Rated:** K+

**Disclaimer:** Togashi owns them. I slash them. It's a win-win situation.

**Word Count:** ~2,100

**Summary:** After Team Masho's defeat Touya believes that they have lost everything, though Jin believes otherwise.

"Up you go, then," said Jin, pulling Touya's arm up and around his shoulders. Everything was quiet, the ringing in his own ears and the sound of Jin's heavy breath notwithstanding. It was amazing how much a battle with a rouge demon, or a human that learned a few fancy spirit tricks, could take out of a demon. It should have been a sure win, especially with all the cheating and unfair advantages their team was given. Or perhaps that was just it. There was no honor in having the upper hand in an unfair fight, thus karma had its way with Team Masho. It was as it should have been. They didn't fight for the light properly, and now it seemed that they would lose it forever. By all that was well and good he and Jin should have died with the rest of their team. So why was it that they lived to see the light at the end of the stadium's exit once more?

"You lost a lot of blood there, Touya. I didn't think you'd open your eyes again for a minute there."

"The man I lost to was too kind," said Touya, clutching the wound in his gut. The throbbing sting insisted otherwise, though he was alive. Alive and well, albeit defeated. He was supposed to take Kurama down after Gama's sacrifice and failed. They were foolish for underestimating him, assuming his human body robbed him of most of his power. Unfortunately for them Kurama's greatest strength was his mind, the one thing his human form could not weaken. Foolish decisions were the very staple of what caused lost lives, though there was no turning back time. Kurama may have been kind, though fate sure wasn't. To atone for his loss he'd likely be sent back to darkness, working once again as a shinobi. It was only fair.

"I've not had a fight so good in many moons. Urameshi knocked my arse clear out of the stadium, he did," said Jin, with three laughs followed by a groan. It seemed his head still wasn't screwed on quite right since Urameshi did him in, but oddly enough he seemed content. Happy even. Touya couldn't quite understand his comrade's logic, though he never put much thought into Jin at all. As far as he was concerned Jin was a powerful ally; childish, but wise. He always got the job done, and not even Risho dared to give him any crap. Not to mention Jin, too, had a strong sense of honor. Touya was able to regain consciousness when the wind picked up, and watching Jin and Urameshi fight was the first real thing Touya had seen throughout the whole tournament. There was nothing cheap or tricky about it. It was too bad Touya blacked out somewhere in the middle, thinking Jin had it in the bag. How wrong he was.

And yet there wasn't quite the same sadness weighing on Jin's mind. They hadn't just lost team mates, they lost their jobs, and their prize. What was left? Perhaps Kurama wasn't so kind in sparing his life after all.

Touya slid himself from Jin's shoulder and knelt to the ground. Here they were, fresh soil, bright orange sunset, the smell of the sea; a land that could have been theirs. Were they fools to think that they deserved the light? Were they selfish to be alive now when the rest of their team was not?

"Damn!" Touya shouted, striking the ground with his fist. He bit back impending tears and struck again. "If only we were stronger. If only we had fought more honorably. Then maybe, maybe Gama-"

"No use gettin' twisted up inside over stuff we can't change," said Jin, twisting his pinky in his ear. Touya was half-tempted to direct his fist toward Jin rather than the ground, if only his words didn't have a certain ring of truth to them. This was what the Dark Tournament was all about. Warriors of all shapes, sizes, ranks, and types died. Died as though they were insects one merely swatted. He and Jin could have died as easily, yet for some reason they were spared. Would they get revenge against Urameshi's Team, or owe them their lives? Touya couldn't help but like Kurama. He even wondered if his defeat was all Kurama's doing. It wasn't like Touya had to do much, what with his opponent bound by Gama's blood. Kurama's death could have been instantaneous were Touya more responsible. The fact of the matter is... he wasn't. Since he was given another chance at life he still had much to learn. He was certain Jin wanted another crack at Urameshi as well.

"Maybe you're right," said Touya, pulling himself back to his feet. It wasn't easy, but his wound closed some time ago. He would live, for better or for worse. "Still, don't you think you're being a little lax? Our comrades are dead, and we've lost."

"Dilly-dally, my friend. Minor setbacks." Jin put his hands behind his head and grinned. "Try thinking of all the fun we had along the way."

"M-minor setbacks? But you wanted out of the darkness more than any of us."

"That's true. Still intend to escape from that life, I do. I just have to find another way is all. You're welcome to stick by me if you'd like."

"I-" Touya's eyes averted from Jin to the sea, then to the mountains. He didn't have much of a choice, seeing as he thought his only two choices going into this were win, or die. He hadn't considered a third option, though it seemed that Jin had. Either that, or Jin just didn't know when to quit, didn't know how to lose. He never lost because he chose not to. That was one of the first things Jin ever told him upon meeting him. Touya thought that he was a fool at the time, when in truth Jin was wiser and more dedicated than any of them. Touya admired that in him. He deeply admired Jin.

"You don't seem convinced. Haven't seen this world from above the way I have. You'd be doing our old team dishonor to give it up." Jin wrapped one arm around Touya's shoulders and the other around the back of his knees. Before Touya could so much as grunt in protest Jin scooped him off the ground and kicked off into the sky. By the time Touya could find his voice again they were already in the clouds.

"What in the world are you doing? We're in no condition to-what could you be thinking?"

"I'm thinking of all the water and all the grass and all the mountains down there. And if you think it looks great at twilight then wait until you see it at the peek of day. You'll never go back to demon world."

Jin's demon energy was still low, Touya could feel the strain manipulating the wind put on Jin's body, and yet he was entirely focused. He was absolutely right, the view was spectacular. In demon world water never sparkled, air never smelled fresh and clean, the trees never stood still, and the sun never touched their land. There were never any relaxing moments, never any colors, any warmth, any beauty. He and Jin were born and raised in an ugly, ugly world for centuries, both the last of their kind, having endured a series of life-threatening battles. He no longer wanted to dishonor himself by living such an ugly lifestyle. He wanted peace and comradery, just like Kurama had. Just like Urameshi had. It was his turn to find it, and Jin would be by his side to help him.

That was, if Jin could hold up. That thousand foot drop didn't seem so appealing, though he was determined to get Touya's answer. Jin never was one to operate on his own, though he was certainly powerful enough to hold his own. And frankly, Touya couldn't imagine them going their separate ways now.

"Very well," said Touya, with a satisfied grin on his face. "I will not leave your side until we are both satisfied."

"Then you will be sticking by me for a long time. I'm always one to be seeking bigger and brighter things. Never satisfied am I."

"Me neither." Once again Touya forgot their peril. Jin was slowly descending, his eyes fixed on Touya's. The intent was suddenly unclear. He seemed happy, even relieved, but also conflicted. Did he not trust Touya? Of course a wise demon went through life trusting in no one, and nothing, though that didn't please Touya in the least. He wanted to think that there was at least one comrade in the world that he could put all his faith into, and one who would return the sentiment. Perhaps that was too much to hope for. Touya was still stuck on the fact that his life was spared.

"Right then," said Jin, his eyes averting to the left. "Guess I shouldn't quit there."

"What do you mean?"

Jin acted in the most spontaneous manner, though that was fairly typical of the wind masters; however, no amount of knowledge Touya gathered throughout the centuries could have prepared him for what happened next. Jin crossed his legs atop one of the lowest clouds, lifted Touya's face toward his, and kissed him with all his might. Something about it renewed his strength ten-fold, the strain on his demon energy no longer apparent, though Touya suspected his senses were dulled by the sound of his head pounding. The amount of heat rushing to it was insane. Ice masters typically found a life partner in those who warmed them inside like so, but this. This wasn't quite the declaration he had in mind. He didn't even know what to say, how to react, so when Jin pulled back his blank gaze fixed upon a crack in the landscape.

"I mean to pledge my life to you, Touya," Jin said in a whisper. "It's about bloody time I could, too. I had thought about it in passing, but not until I thought Kurama had done you in had I realized-"

"Wait," said Touya, wishing he could take a step back. Unfortunately they were still in the air, Jin's specialty. Touya wasn't nearly recovered enough to manipulate the clouds into something solid that he can set foot upon. "You're not making any sense."

"You liked to talk of honor, and battle. And then the living world. Your eyes lighting up would make my ears wiggle. We're one in the same, you and me," said Jin, looking as confident and determined as ever, almost as though he could take on ten of Urameshi. His attitude toward battle, well, life in general was endearing to Touya, but the thought that Jin would pledge his life? That he wished for them to become lovers? Touya never imagined it would turn out like this, and yet it made sense. They weren't strong enough on their own to defeat the system. If they wanted to keep moments like these they would have to work together. One could not reach the light without the other.

"I guess," said Touya, still reluctant to accept Jin's pledge so easily. That was the demon within him, not foolish enough to trust so easily, and yet part of him wanted to accept this. Of everyone in Team Masho, Touya preferred Jin and Gama's company the most. Bakkan was arrogant and weak, and Risho did whatever it took to get what he wanted, even if it meant cheating. Yet this was much too easy. He didn't know what to think. He didn't even know where to begin.

"I knew this wouldn't be easy," Jin muttered to himself to the side. He made his descent toward the ground once more, turned back to Touya, and smiled. "I'll keep by your side regardless of your feelings, if you'll have me."

"Of course," said Touya. Once they reached the ground the sun finally dipped beneath the waves, giving way for the night sky. "I'll just need some time."

"Then time you'll get. Head on back to the room and get some shut eye. I'll follow in a bit."

Touya did just that, sparing his comrade one last glance. This wasn't the time to be pledging his life, the one he shouldn't even have, to anyone. Not until he could accept that he was alive and worthy. Jin would have to forgive him, though Touya was sure that he would. If nothing else, he now trusted his comrade more than he had ever trusted anyone.

That, at least, was a start.

END


End file.
